At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the CID (criminal Investigation dept) with carrying weapons of math instruction.
“Al-gebra is a problem for us,” the Police Commissioner said. “They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like ‘x’ and ‘y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns,’ but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, ‘There are 3 sides to every triangle.’”
When asked to comment on the arrest, authorities said, “If God had wanted us to have better Weapons of Math Instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.”
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